#30 telling my life with his words

I have no idea of what I'm doing. But, my darling, I said I was going to watch the movie and so I have to and I can only tell you that this just not a good idea and I've only seen the first 5 minutes and I'm already regreting yesterday's love letter and it's mention on Before Sunrise. The only thing that it's giving me some peace is the sincere hope that the letter ended up on your spam box or that you stick truth to yourself and accept my recommendation and never watch it.

First impressions - Julie Delpy is so much cooler than me and Ethan Hawke wished he was half as cute as you.

Minute 17 and you already heard twice the english speaking people speak only one language and I'm laughing hard because it happened to you when we where having drinks and I can't stop being sorry for you!

Minute 23 and I and Celine hate when people say we are so funny. Clowns are funny and I hate clowns. You said I was funny and I had to tell you about my post-grad in Lisbon when everyone I said was so funny and it was not funny at all because being different is not the same as being funny and just because my world is different and my accent is different, here in Lisbon or in US, doesn't make it funny and then you corrected it and you said unusual and I loved it because unusual is close to rare and rare things are unique and I like the idea that I am unique.

(this is going to be a funny afternoon, after all)

and scary
Minute 36 and I would never let a palm reader read my hand and this moment has nothing to do with you, my dear, but if I believed in palm readers I think they would tell me exactly this
"you're interested in the power of the woman, in a woman's strength and creativity of this woman. you're becoming that woman. you need to resign yourself to the awckerdness of life. only if you find peace withing yourself you'll find a truth conection with others"

oh baby, don't ever see this movie! ever, please! and it's just scary 'cos this is a letter that I will never send and I just have to hope that you don't suffer from Saudade and my mad mental disease of revisiting life and decide to check it, just for the fun and it might not be fun in the end 'cos I don't want you to hear me say things like in the minute 64, that I didin't say but you know I would and I couldn't even explain it again that your world is beautiful the way it is and that you don't need to be sharing it around like I do to make any sense out of it!

and BAM my darling, minute 78 and we were by the river and you may not know how that moment was so important for my life right now, and how much I enjoyed spending it with you.

and in the end I'm just glad we had 10 more years than those guys, I'm glad that we had sex and that we didn't waste a minute about the future, or the good-bye and that you kissed me and just said you have my email and I said I'll send you the receipt and that we didn't plan any second meeting and that we didn't have one single awkward moment and that this story is going to be forever and even this movie ended in a trilogy and those guys are married now with kids, since none of us believe in faith or destiny, we can write our own story. And I'm glad none of us sugested a meeting in Vienna in 6 months.

I'm just sorry for anyone that crosses this post because it doesn't make ANY sense and, to be honest, my life doesn't make any sense and there is really cool movie that tells a bit of my story and that is just creepy and great at the same time and I'm kind of ok with that.