Never did, never will.
And despite the fact that I truely think that your decision was wrong, that both of us were better of together with the yellow cat and the flowers and the poetry, despite the fact that I think that your move was an act of cowardice, I still love you.
And I hope you're happy, not really happy like I was a burden an your shoulders, but happy like this is what I really wanted right now - pin-ups, porn and some trash.
And I will never tell you how many times a day I want to text you about some funny moment of my life, how much I would like to share this couch (our couch?) with you, and our cat (my cat now!) and my dreams (were they ever our dreams?) and talk with you, talk about anything...but I won't tell you. or how many times I still think that you would love to be here right now, in the balcony, with a glass of wine, while I read or draw, I won't.
I'm mostly happy with my life now. With all the good things you chose not to see in me, or just find it naif or silly and that I always knew it would be helpfull one day.
I will always miss you, my dead loved one and, just so you know, killing you was just an act of mercy to keep you alive, just as you were, beautiful, bearless and soft.
See you in 2046, if we ever get there by ourselves.
Please, do plant your good days.
And despite the fact that I truely think that your decision was wrong, that both of us were better of together with the yellow cat and the flowers and the poetry, despite the fact that I think that your move was an act of cowardice, I still love you.
And I hope you're happy, not really happy like I was a burden an your shoulders, but happy like this is what I really wanted right now - pin-ups, porn and some trash.
And I will never tell you how many times a day I want to text you about some funny moment of my life, how much I would like to share this couch (our couch?) with you, and our cat (my cat now!) and my dreams (were they ever our dreams?) and talk with you, talk about anything...but I won't tell you. or how many times I still think that you would love to be here right now, in the balcony, with a glass of wine, while I read or draw, I won't.
I'm mostly happy with my life now. With all the good things you chose not to see in me, or just find it naif or silly and that I always knew it would be helpfull one day.
I will always miss you, my dead loved one and, just so you know, killing you was just an act of mercy to keep you alive, just as you were, beautiful, bearless and soft.
See you in 2046, if we ever get there by ourselves.
Please, do plant your good days.
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