#4 strawberries and flowers

two days ago i went to the fridge to treat myself with some strawberries and found out that 80% of them were already addled. that made me feel quite sad. flowers and strawberries should never be wasted, i think. since i couldn't send them to the garbage (what a terrible end for such a lovely thing) i shopped them really nice and put them on the flowers vases - seemed a better end - strawberries feeding geraniums.
yesterday night, went for my night cigarette in the balcony and saw a banana peel on one the vases - i guess my flatmate assumed we now feed our plants with fruit

#3 hey jude

because we all have sad songs and only we can make them better i do this exercise quite frequently. let the sad song into my heart and make it better.

so i took a sad chair and made it better

#2 things i do when i'm sad

 get the sketch book

 and the pencils and draw a flower, copy a poem

and then put it in your skin

and the flower and the poem and the sun outside just get in and then i'm not sad anymore

#1

it all falled apart. it took a little bit more than a second, but barely. love was in the house, there were sunny breakfasts in the balcony, music playing while we shower together, the cat jumping one lap to the other, planning kids and discussing kids names, walls painted blue and green, bikes in the garage waiting for Spring and then, barely more than a second latter, all gone. don't ask me what happened. my heart still swings between a early middle life crises and a total lie from the beggining but it doesn't really matter anymore.

today it doesn't matter. or, to be honest, cos it's still 5pm, now it doesn't really matter. maybe later, at night, maybe a song, maybe a book line, maybe a word, or a picture or just a memory will pop up and steal this quietness of yellow and tea and flowers from me. but now it doesn't really matter.

past belongs in the past and these pages are new and they smell like flowers and  today has been a good day and one should always plant good days.

today I'm planting good days. it's Spring, the ground is warm and moist and saturdays are great days for gardening.